curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
