You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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