you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
