I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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