she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
