Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
