Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Your penis caused this!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
