How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This is my gift to your gina
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
