whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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