no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
