So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You took a bar mat shot.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
