I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize