He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
