Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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