How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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