She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
