Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize