Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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