I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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