I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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