no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize