Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
