I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
