you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
