In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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