omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
