I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize