when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
