felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I need a burrito and a hug.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
