she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
