1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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