Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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