Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
