i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize