i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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