I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Found the puke drawer
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
