which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
