why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I didn't notice because vodka
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
