I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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