You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
