Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
