You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i need to put some appletini on your dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
