like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
not ubering you a puppy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
