I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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