Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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