seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We are two peas in an std pod
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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