He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
