What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just tell him i said nine months
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize