Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
