my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
