i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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