I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
