She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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