that's an acceptable place to lick
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
