I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A+ Viking dick
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize