Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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