As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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