tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Small penises have feelings too.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
