Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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