Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
