Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize