p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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