Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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