no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
