I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just come out here and I will go home with you...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
