This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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