That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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