soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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