do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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