I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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