i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize