It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
